Dealing with depression and mood swings

Lately, I have been dealing with depression and mood swings, it has been so hard to cope with so let’s chat about it.

I am not sure when it started for sure, though the latest cries from the government and their plans to make our lives harder didn’t help. But I feel like I am no longer able to keep calm and control my moods as well as I have in recent years.

Now, like I said this could be due to the government and the stress that caused, but also because of my age and how I could be in menopause. Naturally, our hormones change as we age, and I always knew it would possibly change my brain and how it worked.

However, I am also possibly autistic and have been researching and trying to stop masking so much in my life. Masking is how most of us of my generation and before with autism that was undiagnosed coped in society.

“Masking is a strategy used by some autistic people, consciously or unconsciously, to appear non-autistic. While this strategy can help them get by at school, work and in social situations, it can have a devastating impact on mental health, sense of self and access to an autism diagnosis.”  

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/masking

As my speech patterns change, and I let go of the layers of behaviour that made me a little more accepted in society, I find I am misunderstood more. My close family and husband are struggling to understand my meanings sometimes and we are arguing more regularly.

This is causing me a lot of stress and triggering me to lose my temper more, which again could be a part of autism called a meltdown:

“A meltdown is an intense response to an overwhelming situation. It happens when someone becomes completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily loses control of their behaviour.”

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns/

I had this happen today after trying to help suggest some things while my husband and my mom were talking. It felt as if they thought I was attacking them and ended with me shouting loudly for them to stop and then leaving the room.

I climbed into bed and felt embarrassed and overwhelmed, depressive thoughts started to creep in, and I fell asleep. This can happen a lot to me, I get overwhelmed and fall asleep as if my body just needs to reboot! 

Dealing with depression and mood swings has in itself been causing so much discourse and arguments in the house and is making it hard for me to cope. I wish I could see my GP and maybe get a diagnosis and some help, but with the NHS the way it is I just don’t want to deal with it!

So, let’s talk about how I am dealing with depression and mood swings, and maybe if this is affecting you, it will help.

Dealing with depression and mood swings:

• Mindfulness – you knew this would be here, and that is because this is my way to cope with the world. Mindfulness allows me to keep an eye on my thoughts and to make sure a trigger does not cause me to fall into a big depressive episode.
• Meditation – I have not been doing this recently, so I am going to get back to grounding and calming meditations every day to help me to keep my mood more regulated.
• Open up – It is so important to be open and honest about what is happening with the people around you. I am going to show this post to my husband and my mom, and I am going to try and talk it through with them. Chatting here with you helps as well, but also if you are able to speak to a therapist or charities like the Samaritans can also help a lot.
• Walk away – I have tried asking family to stop when I feel the overwhelm building, however they rarely listen. So, I am going to try to start walking away from the situation before it happens and go somewhere to decompress.

I really hope that you are not dealing with depression and mood swings, but if you are I hope these points can help you. At the very least, I hope my talking about my experiences will help you to feel less alone.

Thank you xx

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